New Tricks
Issues 65 - 66

In a dark and dirty basement, Lono is recounting a tale of his childhood to an unseen figure. He is telling a story of how, at the age of five, he learned to play poker with his uncles. Although they were letting him win and he knew it, Lono didn’t care. All he wanted was their money. Taking a cigar cutter from his back pocket, he recounts how his Uncle Vito offered Lono his first cigar, and that, although it was like an elephant shitting down his throat, he refused to show his discomfort to the two men watching.

Moving the cigar cutter to the object in his hand, Lono notices for the first time that it’s not a cigar, it’s a severed finger. Commenting to the man revealed to be hanging upside-down from the ceiling that at least it isn’t his cock, Lono clips the end from the finger, sticks it in his mouth and attempts to light it anyway.

Meanwhile, in a pole-dancing bar, Loop and Vic sit in a booth watching the floorshow. Loop wants another drink, but Vic declines, questioning whether Loop should be having one, and whether he knows when he should stop. The two men are ill-at-ease with each other. Loop says he won’t get “too fucked up”, Vic insists that as they have a job to do, Loop shouldn’t get fucked up at all. He’s uncomfortable that this is his first job with Loop, which is made no better when Loop reveals that it’s his first job ever. Loop says he knows how bad the person they’re up against is, because Lono told him. Vic points out the irony of this comment coming from Lono.

In the cellar, Lono removes the gag from his captive’s mouth, revealing him as Fulvio Carlito, head of one of the remaining houses of the Trust. Lono tells Carlito he will stick the severed finger in his mouth unless Carlito tells Lono what he wants to hear. Carlito insists that he acted alone, earning himself a mouthful of finger as the gag is replaced. Lono knows Carlito is lying to him. He is lying about the attempt made on Augustus Medici’s life in Little Havana. Although the botched hit looks like Carlito’s work, paying for poor quality hitmen to be killed in the act. Carlito’s method sends a message to Medici without harming anyone but the assassins he owes money to. However, the fact that the assassins failed in their primary target, and so moved to the secondary target of Benito Medici suggests to Lono that others were involved in this plot. Lono suggests that Carlito lacks the balls for such a move, but drawing a hunting knife from his toolbox, suggests the two of them find out.

In the bar, Vic rolls up with more drinks, suggesting that as Lono hasn’t called them yet, Loop might appreciate a private dance in a booth. Things get a little to personal for Loop, as Vic has told the dancer a few things about him. The talk becomes suggestive of Loop making out with his mother, which makes Loop understandably angry. Pushing the dancer away, he goes in search of Vic.

Lono has tested Carlito and discovered that he did indeed have the balls, in the past tense, as he stands on the severed ovoids, causing them to pop. He threatens Carlito with the loss of the rest of his crown jewels, unless he gets a name. Carlito is ready to talk, and puts the finger on Helena Kotias. Lono deduces that Javier Vasco must also be involved as Kotias would never act without Vasco’s influence. Carlito insists he was set up. Lono agrees, but tells Carlito he fucked up. The House of Kotias is little more than an extension of the House of Vasco in terms of influence and power. By siding with the other two houses, the House of Carlito is now effectively finished.

Carlito says he has heirs. Lono says he won’t now, referring to Carlito’s recent castration. Carlito says he already has sons, but Lono cautions him. He reminds Carlito of his position as a Minuteman, and as he begins to work with the knife again, explains that he has to settle scores. Carlito says there are no Minutemen, that the Trust had a deal with Graves. Lono says that Carlito, and Graves, now have to deal with him. Lono throws a bag onto the floor between them. Carlito’s hit on Augustus failed, so his assassins went after Benito. Spilling the contents of the bag onto the floor, Lono says the families are now even, as he reveals the severed heads of Carlito’s sons. Carlito screams in disbelief. Lono agrees that maybe things aren’t even, and sets back into Carlito to finish him off.

Loop approaches Vic, fists clenched. Vic asks if he’s sure he wants to do anything. Loop is sure, so Vic asks if he’s sure he can, telling him his arm will be broken in so many places before it gets near Vic. Loop wants to know what the whole sick set up was all about. Vic’s explanation is a little contrived, saying that the girl could have been his mother, or at least very much like her, raising a child on her own and doing whatever it takes to succeed. Loop asks what the lesson is meant to be, if it’s a small world \or something. Vic replies that it’s a very big world, but there are only seven stories in it. His phone interrupts, it’s Lono. Vic suggests that they go and find out which of the stories they’ll be getting involved in tonight.

Some time later, Lono sits in a small Cuban café, lighting up a pre-embargo Havana with his host. He’s recalling another childhood tale, this time about the first time he was arrested. A large man stands at the door of the café, barring access or egress. Outside, two young men attempt to mug passers-by with little success. Lono continues his tale, saying he remembers it well, as it was the day Nixon resigned. The police were rounding up everyone with a record after a tramp was set alight on a beach. Lono was caught running numbers and carrying drugs. As he was only twelve, he was sent to reform school. A teacher there tried to hit him with a ruler, so Lono forced it down his throat, killing him, which resulted in his first prison term. At fourteen, he was on Death Row, which is where Mr. Shepherd met him “the first time”.

Lono is talking to Augustus Medici. The two men are starting to talk on less formal terms ‘post-embargo’ as Lono refers to it. Lono and Augustus are having their first meeting with Lono in his new position as the Medici ‘Warlord’. Lono is wired on Cuban coffee, telling Augustus that he doesn’t ever sleep. Augustus asks after Fulvio Carlito. Lono explains that Carlito and his sons are dead, that the House of Carlito is empty and that he should move in, taking the rest of the houses with him, all of them. Augustus blanches at the last comment. He needs clarification that Carlito did not act alone. Lono confirms this and Augustus begins to say, that as a Minuteman, his job is to even scores, but Lono interrupts. As Warlord, his job is to make peace.

Elsewhere, Megan Dietrich walks into a restaurant, alone except for her entourage of six bodyguards. As she is seated in the bar area, Loop stares over at her from his barstool. He is talking to Vic, who is waiting outside. He describes the number of bodyguards, and that they are armed. Vic says there may be more, whilst discussing Megan’s physical attributes. Between his sexual suggestions, Vic tells Loop to stick to the plan exactly.

Lono tells Augustus that their plan must change. There are now no Minutemen, just Lono, to enforce order between the houses. Augustus tells Lono he needs to be a warlord, not a warrior. Lono says he has warriors, but needs more, suggesting Crete, Augustus’ bodyguard, would be a good choice. Crete is content seeing that Augustus is safe, and declines. Lono says that all he has to do is reach out for Augustus, but Crete intercepts him swiftly. Augustus tells Crete to stand down, seeing that Lono was merely making a point, and that Graves is still out there. Lono doesn’t care about Graves, but Augustus says there are ten families left who do. Lono suggests that if Augustus were to forgive two families, then they might all care about Graves a lot less. It’s a radical concept for Augustus to accept.

Back at the restaurant, Loop shows his culinary ignorance by ordering a fillet steak well done, with fries. The waiter offers his protests, suggesting not for the first time that night that Loop should try the skirt. He also insists that they do not cook fries, despite having both potatoes and a deep fryer. Loop repeats his order.

Augustus runs through Lono’s forgiveness idea, reminding him that an attempt was made not just on his life, but Benito’s, and that those responsible should pay the price. Lono says that would have been the way under the old rules of the game, but that Augustus has made new rules and should play by them. If the rest of the trust is to embrace his vision of the future, he must forgive the wrong-doers in a grand gesture of goodwill.

Vic enters the restaurant through the kitchen, following the waiter bringing Loop’s\order. Loop clocks his partner, and as the waiter approaches, stands up, knocking the metal tray from the waiter’s hands. The ensuing chaos conceals Vic’s single shot through a silencer, fired from the kitchen doorway. As her bodyguards look away to the waiter, Megan Dietrich collapses to the floor, blood coming from her mouth, and a gaping hole in her chest.

Lono tells Augustus that the other families will not fault Carlito’s demise, but if they do, then Augustus should tell them that Lono went too far with him. Augustus says that if that were to happen, it wouldn’t just be Kotias and Vasco asking for Lono’s removal. Lono agrees, this is exactly his point. Augustus says that Shepherd was right about Lono being the man for the job. As Lono makes to leave, Augustus asks about the man burnt on the beach. Lono says his memory must be as bad as Augustus’. To clarify his comment he asks Augustus about Nixon’s fall that day. Augustus smiles, saying again how right Shepherd was. As Lono departs he tells Augustus the one thing he does remember about the burnt tramp; it wasn’t a man.

Outside, Lono receives a text message from Vic, simply saying “It’s done”. As he walks towards his car, singing to himself, two armed figures step from the shadows behind him, about to embark on what will probably be the final mistake they ever make.

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